Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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