We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
