these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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