how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
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How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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