Your tits are I can't wait for
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
