i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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