They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
