Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
he high fived his dick after we had sex
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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