drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
