smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
