Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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