as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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