We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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