The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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