I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
