look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
