Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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