Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
