did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
