the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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