2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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