I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
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So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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