Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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