yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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