I smell stomach acid.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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