I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize