i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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