i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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