Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
