matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
