i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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