i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Even my vagina gasped.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
