she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
