i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
