I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
