I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
