Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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