dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
