That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
