Im at strip club and am horny
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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