just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
