**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
