I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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