I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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