guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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