i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
