last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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