let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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