Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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