Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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