So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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