you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
